Find our way back
by screamatme
Summary: "We're just two lost souls,Quinn,but after all,we find our way back here.In the astronomy room."


She could feel he's crying. It was just something in the way his shoulders moved.

A second after he left the room. Everyone stayed silent for a moment or so,not knowing what to say or do. She looked at Mercedes-she was crying as inside of her shivered and she knew it was jealousy. She felt ashamed at first. She didn't have the right to be jealous of those two,because she knew they were in love. And they were her best friends,they deserved to be happy. If she could choose,she wouldn't find more perfect guy for Mercedes,her soul sister. But still,why was she so hurt? They were both heartbroken and she didn't have anything to do with it,but still...she felt like her heart broke too when Sam left the room.

She stood up. Everyone's eyes followed her on her way out but she didn't look at them. She knew she had somewhere else to be,someone else to be with. And no matter that she could feel Mercedes' eyes make a hole in her neck,she continued walking. She didn't stop even for a second,she didn't have to think about where he was,because she already knew. She knew him so damn well. She made her way to the astronomy room but she stopped once she reached it. What was she gonna do or say? She could hear him sob quietly from the inside. She felt like her world is falling down. There was just one person in this school that she found perfect in every way and that was him. The sweet dorky Sam Evans. And he was the one who deserved everything. Still,faith was a bitch. He somehow managed to lose everything in a short period. And just when he was starting to get back on his feet,Mercedes cut his wings and made him fall again. Her heart skipped a beat and she took a deep breath before entering.

He didn't turn around but he knew her by her quiet footsteps. And besides,who else was gonna come after him? Everytime,it was her. Picking up the pieces of his broken self.

"Go away,Quinn",he said angrily,not even bothering to look at her. He still had tears in his eyes and he wouldn't let her see them. He promised himself that he won't cry in front of Quinn Fabray anymore. He felt already ashamed enough for losing it in the auditorium.

Quinn didn't say anything. She could say how angry he was by his tone. And he had every right to be,she assumed. She would be angry as well if she was at his place. But she knew she could handle his anger and his pain. She could take it all and embrace it,because that would make him feel she desperately needed him to feel better. She knew she could handle him at his worst because that's where he was right now. He was going to cry and shout and cry again and she would be there to support him despite the pain and the tears that kept coming to her eyes.

She made a few steps and sat right next to him on the floor. He didn't look at her,didn't move. He kept hiding his face in his palms and she knew he was embarassed. She let a deep sight before touching him light on the shoulder. He took down his hands and looked her directly in the eyes. For a moment Quinn felt like he was about to kiss her but the moment flew away and he shook his head.

"Go away,Quinn",he repeated.

She didn't break the eye contact and neither did he. She didn't answer because they both knew the answer is no. She streched her arm and found his hand,taking it in between hers. He shivered and pulled it away,rolling his eyes.

"Please go",he pleaded.

She tried again but this time she squeezed his hand harder. This time he didn't pull away and she felt better. No matter what he said,she was gonna stay right there all the time and just be his friend. She wanted to say so many things but she didn't have the guts. And she thought it was better to stay silent and let him take his time. It was never easy to deal with a broken heart,she knew well.

"Why are you here? Do you enjoy seeing me heartbroken,Quinn?"

She wanted to scream "No",but her lips didn't move. He was so hurt,he felt betrayed,alone. His tears were her tears,her pain. Still,she didn't say a word.

"I always try so hard with women and somehow,they always seem to break my heart.",he continued,his voice stronger and full of pity. "You know,after you,I thought I won't make it through. I cried myself to sleep so many times and then Mercedes came along and I...I...really believed that I found someone special. Someone who wouldn't hurt me like you did...Someone who would never cheat."

Quinn looked at him,so many things in her head. She wanted to say she's sorry,that she never would do that again and that if she had a time machine like in those science-fiction movies he made her watch,she would chose to go back to last year and rewrite their history. She would never kiss Finn again,she could promise him that. She wanted to scream and shout and let him understand how much she loved him. Because she did,she had all this time and she knew that she would always love him. She tried her best to be his friend and she thought she did a pretty decent job. She didn't say a word for the exact same reason. She wanted to be his friend. At least his friend. And right now he didn't need an ex-girlfriend confessing her feelings. He needed his best friend.

She smiled lightly and moved closer. Her head rested on his shoulder and she took a deep breath before answering.

"She'll come around,Sammy. She loves you,I can tell. And when two people love each other,they always seem to find their way back into each other's arms."

Her voice was soft and quiet and she felt his body lose up a bit. He moved his hand around her shoulders and pulled her as close as possible. Quinn felt like her heart is about to get out of her ribcage and she forgot how to breath for a second.

"Do you want to know the funny part,Quinn? I love her,I really do,but I just believe she's doing the right thing. I mean,I practically made her cheat ...with me. And I know for myself what it's like to be cheated on. And it hurts so freakin much. When Santana told me about you and Finn,I couldn't believe it. I wanted to be with you so damn much that I chose to believe this ridiculous story about the gum ball and now when I look back,I know I did because I loved you. I promised myself I would never ever get in a love triangle again but here I am now. And you wanna know the worst part?" ,she looked at him curiously. He sighed,shaking his head slowly."I'm Finn. I'm the guy who steal other people's girlfriends. I'm Finn. I can't believe it,really. I now understand what he meant by "getting the fireworks" because that's what I feel when I'm with Mercedes and I just can't get it out of my mind. But god,Quinn,as much as I try,she always seem to find her way back to my thoughts."

Quinn looked at him,her lips forming a light smile. He was so vulnerable,yet handsome in his pain. He has always been handsome,she knew it. She missed listening to his voice,being this close to him. She knew it was selfish to think about this right now,after everything he just said,but she couldn't help it. He was so close and yet,so far away. She wanted him badly and yet,she couldn't reach him. She knew that his heart belonged to someone else now and she just wanted to cry about it so badly. She managed to stay calm. She took a deep breath before answering.

"You're not Finn,Sammy.",he looked at her sadly. "Trust me,you're not. Finn knew I loved you. He knew how much we both care about each other,he really did and I believe it's me who made the big mistake,not him. I kissed him after your big game,you know that. I was self-obssessed bitch and I cared about popularity and being the queen bee. Finn was my ticket to the crown and I did what I thought was best. I've loved you all the way but I didn't have the guts to fight for you,for us. I didn't have the guts to be me and be inlove with you. Things were so different back then.",she shook her head and touched his cheek lightly. "But one thing is still the same,Sam,and that's you. You are perfect. Always have been and always will be. You fight for the woman you love and there's really nothing wrong about it. And besides,Mercedes is nothing like me,Sam,that's what I like about her the most. She knows herself and she stands up for herself when nobody else does. She doesn't care what people think,she cares about her heart. And her heart belongs to you. She is a beautiful person and that's why she can't believe herself for cheating on Shane. He was good to her,you know,loved her,cared for her,wanted to make her dreams happen. And she is grateful for all of that. Don't blame her for anything. But you,Sam,you're not Finn. I know you feel guilty and maybe you should. But you kissed the woman you love and you did it all for love. That's not a mistake,it just can't be. Finn and I kissed because of some crazy reason that we call "fireworks" which is just a lame excuse,trust me. And...Shane's not you,Sam. You're better than anyone in this school. You're perfect. You're simply perfect. And I promise she'll come around."

She never meant to say all of those things. She felt ashamed and she let go of his cheek and broke the eye contact. His embrace felt lighter and she pushed him away moving apart so that they don't touch. She felt like she was about to pass out. She felt fragile and for the first time she realized that she loved Sam so much that she would do anything to see him happy. Even help him with Mercedes,even try to heal his broken heart. She would do anything to bring back the goofy smile.

She was so honest. She meant all of it. She regretted the kiss with Finn every single day with every breath she took. She really thought Sam was perfect and unfortunately,she knew Mercedes was better than her. She has never said any of those things aloud,she usually kept everything to herself,but seeing him so broken and down,she decided to give honesty a shot. And he seemed quite relieved.

He smiled not knowing what to say. Was she being serious? Did she find him perfect? He remembered her saying that they were perfect together and for a second he believed it. She was so beautiful just sitting there crying next to him. Crying for him,for his pain. He felt like he just want to hold her close right now but he didn't move. Mercedes disappeared for a second and there was just Quinn and him in the same astronomy room when so many important things have happened.

"You know what Quinn?",she looked at him,her eyes bloodshot red. He smiled lightly."I love astronomy. Something about all that space make my problems seem kind of small."

She laughed at him rolling her eyes.

"I knew that already."

He laughed.

"Yeah,I've told you. And right now,you just made me believe it. I can't believe you said all of you really mean it?"

"Every word of it."

"You find me perfect?"

She swallowed hard and smiled.

"In every way."

He moved closer to her,taking her hands in his.

"She'll come around,huh? Truth to be said,I'm not sure of it. But you make me believe in all these amazing things,Quinn. And you know what,I do mean what I said earlier. You do deserve good things,miss Fabray. Very good things. And just so you know,I forgave you a long time ago. I'm no better than you,cheating or make someone else cheat,it's just the same. We're just two lost souls,Quinn,but after all,we find our way back here. In the astronomy room."

"To make our problems seem smaller?"

He laughed and then nodded.

"And to remember the good things,Quinn. We were a good thing."

She looked at him,confused. He smiled at her,still with tears in his eyes. The pain of Mercedes's song was still there and she could feel the broken heart. But he still managed to look super gorgeous and she knew she had made him feel better. But...why was he smiling? Was he saying what she thought he was? No,he couldn't be.

"We could still be.",she whispered softly not having the guts to look him right in the eyes. She just kept staring at her fingers.

She heard him take a deep breath.

"I love Mercedes,Quinn,I really do. I'm broken-hearted for the second time in my life. But you coming here was like a remedy to me. You made me feel better. You reminded me of what it's like to have someone actually care for you so much. I care for you too. I want to be your good thing,Quinn,like you're mine. Because after all,you are my best friend."

Quinn's heart skipped a beat.

"I want you to be my good thing,Sammy. And I'm so lucky I'm inlove with my best friend."


End file.
